Serendipity

2013 has only just started yet I'm feeling unmotivated and apathetic. The weather has been gloomy all day, and I've been spending time alone in my room minding my own business. They say, Aquarians like being left alone but hate feeling lonely. I don't normally believe in astrology but I can actually relate myself to that statement.

Probably I'm affected by the weather accompanied with pre and post-exam stress. Well you know when you are alone in your room, you tend to think too much. And when something has upset you, you can't get it off your mind. I'm not good at expressing my feelings, so I keep everything bottled inside. Sometimes when I express myself, people misunderstood me.

"People understand me so poorly that they don't even understand my complaint about them not understanding me."

― Søren Kierkegaard

I'm unable to deliver my own thoughts and feelings and have always had difficulty communicating my thoughts to certain people in my life. I suck at words. I may look expressionless but different feelings and emotions was felt deep inside my heart. I wish that I could express what's in my heart without being misunderstood. I'm just a soul who's intentions are good.

Heh, enough with my bipolar thoughts.

This is just the beginning of 2013, I'm looking forward to this year and accomplishing new things for myself. I want to spend more time doing things that are productive such as going on adventures, exercising, learning a new hobby, or whatever. I'm going to read good books, and write more. I want to write more, and take more pictures. As you've noticed, I like writing and taking pictures. I want to do more of it, the only reason why I don't do it as much as I want to is because I don't have the time. Busy schedule. :(

I want to be more friendly, make more friends and keep those who appreciate me. I am a social person, as introverted as I am. I just can't express myself to people the way I think I can. It's all in my head. I want to love more. Not to be in love, but to show the love I have for the people in my life more especially towards my family and my close friends. Or maybe it should be "be more appreciative" I don't know if I show my gratitude as much as I should.

I want to fill this year with dreams and good madness. I want to improve myself and become a better person. I want to get closer to Allah SWT, and become a better Muslimah. A thousand times I've failed, but still Your mercy remains. I hope, somewhere in the next year, I surprise myself.

Ps: If you noticed, this post is not even related to its title. I can't think of any title for this post so I asked for some random titles on Twitter. So Lisa Farhana suggested this Serendipity title as it just popped into her mind. Sangat random.

Signed by Yours Truly,